Don’t judge me, let me explain.
Side parts. The bane of Gen-Z’s existence. Side parts are, dare I say, cheugy. I bet you forgot that word existed huh? Yes, they are cheugy, but only in a certain context. When millennials wear side parts now they are ridiculed but we must thank our brave ancestors for the music and parties they threw that we all intensely wish we could’ve attended. This brings me to my point, side parts bring an immediate rush of serotonin to the brain. It must be something in the way the air particles hit the head or the freedom of the hair follicles to sway in a way that the middle part restricts. This is the key to all of our problems, side parts, and with side parts come ragers we will never be able to mimic.
In a time before constantly having everyone including your third cousin’s location at the tip of your fingers the parties thrown were insane. Now yes this is a research piece because I was a mere child then but looking back on it now I see all that I missed out on by being too young. The indie sleaze era. What a time to be alive. I constantly am bringing up indie sleaze as I earnestly await its return to the point where it has become a part of my brand. Two years ago I purchased a cheetah print coat, I even wrote about it here, because that coat is magical. Suddenly I see a headline from Vogue last week stating the leopard print is back and I can sense it is my time, the indie sleaze resurgence.
Now you may be wondering, what is indie sleaze? Indie sleaze according to Wikipedia is “described as an aesthetic response to the Great Recession, being considered as affordable clothing, amateur visual styles, and unabashed hedonism.” Still vague but it sounds pretty fun, right? Indie sleaze is defined by its low-quality flash digital camera photos and its crazy party era. We can already see elements of this coming back with Gen-Z. There is something so carefree about the era, limited social media to post on it was more about being in the moment than current times. I haven’t felt alive since I had Sparks (the first highly caffeinated alcoholic drink) and it was discontinued before I was legal therefore I’ve never even tasted the original formula.
Now you must be wondering Keaton, why are you writing this, why are you publishing your dreams? I’d like to document my journey to slowly adopting the indie sleaze lifestyle more than I have already. So you all are joining me for this journey. I will not be doing a side part yet tho I just can’t bring myself to do it. But it will start this new year, so buckle up as I dive into a niche subculture that barely exists anymore.