Pillowy and warm
I finished my undergraduate career yesterday, on Friday the 13th and all I want now is a bagel. A good bagel, not a grocery store one. An everything bagel toasted with cream cheese, from New Paltz Bagel Cafe. Not to be specific or anything.
Graduating in December is weird. There’s no ceremony and I walked last May so there’s not much fanfare. Just a lot of packing and a 2.5-hour drive home where I listened to a lot of The Chicks and Dar Williams. Life seems uncertain. I don’t know what I’ll be doing after Christmas, let alone tomorrow. Well, I do know tomorrow, I’m seeing Wicked again. Also, I will be getting a bagel. So yeah, busy day.
Everyone tells me this is what your twenties are supposed to be like, “uncertain and messy”. But what does that look like in a world where everything is “uncertain and messy”? Honestly, I’m so sick of hearing that these are “unprecedented times”. I feel around every corner, every milestone of my own, there has been earth-shattering news. I can remember distinctly my loss of innocence. It was November 9th, 2016. Throughout Trump’s entire candidacy, I thought there was no way the adults of this country would let this happen. They would step up and good would win against evil. But as we all know that didn’t happen. I realized then that I needed to grow the fuck up because clearly, I was in some sort of delusion and thought we’d all overcome this together. I was fourteen. I now look at fourteen-year-olds and think Wow, you look like a baby, go play Pokemon go or whatever fourteen-year-olds do now.
Trump’s presidency lasted my high school career. What a fascinating time to come of age, to inherit a diabolically broken system. Then high school graduation happened in our cars. A pandemic. And now I graduate college just before Trump’s second presidency and project 2025. Scary stuff.
Now that I’ve given you the context, I’m sick of adults telling me this is what you’re twenties are supposed to be like because it’s not. This is the end times. Late-stage capitalism. This is not what it’s supposed to be like. The adults have failed us, plain and simple. We are inheriting a shit show. Sometimes I wonder if I should go to the moon, maybe I’d be happier there.
But I’m trying to be more hopeful about it all. I really am, I swear. That’s why I’ve been so focused on Christmas that you’d even think I was one of Santa’s elves despite my height. So here’s the plan, what I’m doing to get through the darkest time of the year. Below are things that are bringing me joy:
Snoods
Snoods. That’s all.
Snoods are from the renaissance era but god they are gorgeous and one is pictured below. You may be thinking I’m crazy for actually planning on wearing one but I actually don’t care what you think. It makes me feel like a princess.
Calendars
I have a new calendar to hang up and will be doing so promptly to excite me about the passage of time. I will share my calendar when it is all decorated.
Bagels
I want a bagel so badly its not even funny. Praying I can get one tomorrow morning.
Song of the day:
Book I’m Reading: The Idiot by Elif Batuman
See you all soon!