“I feel like a tree—overgrown and knotty, with nowhere to go. Tangles of branches fill up space that doesn’t exist. I have grown past the limits of my container.
Yeah, that’s how I’m feeling.
It’s weird, roaming the town you grew up in, all grown up. It’s weird, making a life of your own, separate from others and separate from where you started it.
Most of my peers are experiencing some semblance of this yet they do not document it in a newsletter. That’s where we differ.” – Keaton, 1/22/25
Yeah I don’t know where I was going with that one but I kind of love it. It’s so dramatic. I love to be dramatic because without drama what is life? Seriously, it’s no fun without drama. That’s what I’m here to tell you, my newest diagnosis, “main character syndrome”.
You may have just burst out laughing, which is fair, but I’m being serious. Well not that serious. “Main Character Syndrome” is not a medical diagnosis, rather a term used on social media to describe someone who views themselves as the protagonist of their own life. Which upon reading that, I see nothing wrong despite it typically being used as an insult.
“Main Character Syndrome”, while self-centered, is also a means of survival. Well, at least to me it is. When I am at my lowest, I follow this syndrome. For those who don’t know, there’s an online joke that the most depressed person you know isn’t listening to depressing music such as Mitski, but instead pop music from the 2010s. This is why when I listened to “Anything Could Happen” by Ellie Goulding nearly 150 times in one day, I received multiple texts inquiring about my well being. There’s always truth in humor.
I love that so though, both for its nostalgia and lyrics. “Anything Could Happen”. It’s optimistic and whimsical. To many the idea that anything could happen presents all the ways life could go wrong, but to me it reveals the opposite. It could go right. It could be a defining moment. Who cares if that chance is one in a million? I’d take that risk.
So why not see yourself as the main character of your life? See all the ways something could go right? Hold on to your empathy and compassion for others of course. But there is no harm in the core of “Main Character Syndrome” which is believing in yourself. We don’t believe in ourselves enough these days. So please, take a chance on yourself.
That’s all I got today.
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